oh that's gonna hurt tomorrow....

I finally started to see the silver lining in this whole predicament I am in with this whole job search. Today I had my interview with Macy's and it went very well. That is until the end when the woman interviewing me let me know that they did not have any more positions open as of YESTERDAY. I was so bummed especially because I could have had my interview last week but I rescheduled because I already had plans with Riddhi (no worries girlie it was all worth it). So that pretty much made me really upset and frustrated. I seriously sulked in my room with my dog, who isn't supposed to be in the house but I didn't care, all afternoon.
But then Claudia, my personal cheerleader texted me and wanted to know if I still wanted to go to our class today. I was hesitant about it just because of my crappy mood but I decided to go. On the way there I talked to Claudia about what was going on and we decided that we are going to take the rest of the summer and worry about ourselves. We are going to class every single day! I am going to die haha. But I'm glad I have her to go with. So we went to class and it totally kicked my ass. I feel so good, both physically and just generally about myself. I have done so much and have come so far in the improvement of myself, I just can't believe it. I am so proud to say I know myself so much better and I have come to embrace my potential.Plus I am so happy to be dancing again, bloody toes and all!

and now time for frozen yogurt with Claudia

how I love summer :)

putting my dancing shoes on...

well this summer is going down in the history books. Even though the job hunt has been brutal, I am glad that I have free time to be with my friends. I finally got to see my lovely roomie on Thursday. We made food and talked like the days when we would sit up all night in our dorm room. Then we got to rendezvous in chino hills with my girlfriends for Riddhi's first time with sushi. It was so much fun, my sister even came out with us. I love all of them so much.

Tonight I got to put my jazz shoes on! Claudia, Zaira, and Brittany took a dance/cardio/conditioning class; lets just say it was intense. I think I'm gonna go back tomorrow night. I feel good because I have found a way to get active again. Hopefully it will help me up my weight loss/diet plans.

So today my mother and father left to go visit my grandparents and being home alone is kind of creeping me out. I think I'm gonna put my dog in my room tonight lol. But, I'm not gonna lie, I miss my mother. Like I came home and she wasn't here and I was like awww so alone, so quiet.

So tomorrow is my interview and I really REALLY hope I get it. Wish me luck <3

handle...

So, once again, JUST AS I PREDICTED, my lovely little idiot showed up today. For serious, I love how I know how my life is going to work out just cause it's a pattern that has been going on for about idk, 5 years lol. So he called and we talked about random ish then I told him he should come over and pick up a journal that I have had of his for like years. The other great thing, he doesn't have to call when he is at my door, I just know he's there so I walked to my door and he was there just hitting the door bell. Anywhos, about 20 mins of him and I remember why I don't like him. I really think he acts weird cause I intimidate him. I find it hilarious. Anyways, glad that is dealt with for now it was getting annoying.

So the rest of my day was lovely and productive with my new and clean mind. I filled out an application to work at school over the summer, I really hope that goes through. ::crosses fingers::

So now to look forward to shopping with my mother tomorrow and seeing Riddhi this weeking, pending any last minute changes... and lets face it, with my life, they will probably happen.

I just need to learn to handle my ish and push through it, while doing it in classic rebecca style; smiling and laughing the whole time :)

-Everything <3

"It started with the perfect kiss then We could feel the poison set in"...

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would have worked out right, yeah
We were never meant for do or die...

Already Gone-Kelly Clarkson

I knew this would happen, but I still didn't want it to. Yesterday, I visited with a group of my friends in Long Beach. We had fun dishing out random stories and being silly like we always were. However, it was impossible not to feel the slightest feeling that we are all changing and moving. The only question is are we moving closer or further apart? I hope it's not the latter....

At the beginning of the summer I said I could predict but didn't hope that Erik would be around again. And sure enough, it's started. It's not that big YET, I just don't know where to go. Yesterday Erik called me right when he woke up, which was interesting in it's own sense. We talked for a while and I told him I was going with my friends to Long Beach. Now, once upon a time, Erik was in our group of "friends." But now considering how the story of Erik and I played out, they aren't always so fond of him and he has gradually moved out of our circle. Mind you, this was a long time ago, like when we were still in high school. Anyways, when I told him where I was going and whom I was going with, HE WANTED TO COME! I was like....um what? are you serious? and he was. I just don't know why he would want to do that? Whatever, he didn't end up coming cause it was a GIRLS ONLY day lol.

The horrible part was yet to come. So at 11:11pm Gardy and I always wish. Well we try anyways. Like at 11:10 I'll text him...Ready? and he responds GO! at 11:11. It's silly but I think it's cute. So, every time, I wish for the same thing. You can probably guess what, or who, it is. However, last night, before I could think, I thought I wish for Erik. I opened my eyes like I had just woke up from a nightmare and was terrified. Tiffani looked at me all worried and I just said OMG...OMG. I tried to think again, like to repeal my wish before it got to the little wish fairies, and again I thought Erik. I wanted to cry. What does that mean? That can't be what I really want...can it?

stupid heart...get it together

waking up in vegas...

Ok so I didn't run away and get married like the song implies but I still had a great time during swan week in Vegas. Even though we are not twenty-one Brandy, Josh and I had a fun time lounging around being trampled by Sadie the puppy. Finally got to spend some time in a pool and got a bit darker. I also got to see my first Cirque Du Soleil show Believe with Criss Angel. It was very creepy and incredible; exactly what I expected. We even got to meet up with Swan's cousins who are so hilarious it's unbelievable. I can't wait to talk to them about Brandy's wedding, especially when I need backup.

However, I can't lie, at times I felt like the third wheel. I don't think it was anything anyone could have really done anything about, it's just me.

Anyways, I'm home now and HAVE NO CLUE WHAT TO DO! Stupid weather makes me want to sleep all day. Maybe I'll take a drive and see where I end up....

oh this week..

HAS BEEN AMAZING!
past a few little "speed bumps" I had a lot of fun with some amazing people. Tuesday I finally went up to Oxnard and met my best friend Gardy. Tiffani and I drove up to Thousand Oaks and hung out at The Oaks mall. It's a very pretty mall in which Tiffani and I decided we need to go back because she wants a dress. Silly girl I know. It took us about and hour and a half to get there from West Covina. Probably wouldn't have taken so long if I didn't have to drive to my mom's job and then put gas in her car. After almost killing Tiffani, her words not mine I think I drive just fine, we made it. We walked around the mall for two hours because BFF got stuck in traffic. So then he calls me and says he's there and I instantly get butterflies in my stomach. We start walking back to the center of the mall to meet him when for some reason I decided to look up. And there he was. He was standing there, leaning over the second floor railing with this little smirk on his face. Without thinking I just say...Hi. At this point Tiffani looks up, see's creeper looking down at us and she screams. hahahaha. Oh my cubby. I then yelled at Gardy, "you scared her you big meany." hahaha. After meeting up on the top of the escalator we proceed to leave the mall, which took another fifteen minutes cause Gardy lead us up the stairs then around, then back up before he remembered where he parked. I swear we are exactly the same. We then start our trip up the coast to Santa Barbara. That trip included Gardy being a spazz with the radio, me in aviator sunglasses that I am going to steal from him, and a lot of laughs. Santa Barbara was pretty as you can see in the pictures. Heading back, Gardy almost killed us when he turned onto a one way street in the wrong direction. hahaha. Then we started the drive home and we all decided we wanted to eat at taco bell. So I look it up on my navigator where we end up at "Taco Inn." Then Gardy uses his Iphone and we end up going on this weird trek around Thousand Oaks. We end up at a jack in the box with an ordering kiosk. The funniest thing of the day by far. After sitting and dying of laugher we head back and Tiffani and I head home. I remember sitting in bed that night with a sense of disbelief, "Did that really happen? OMG" It was a great day and I can't wait to do it again, hopefully sooner than later.
The rest of the week had Tiffani and myself hanging out a lot. I love that girl and I am really glad I am getting to spend some time with her. We got A LOT of yogurt which let us see Claudia too. We went to the mall and watched Enchanted. I am so glad I have these girls in my life and now I can't wait to see the rest of them. It's gonna kill me when I have to go back to school in the fall....