who's your daddy?

I never thought that my whole perspective on life could change in a few weeks, but I think that is exactly what is happening to me.I just got back from a wonderful trip in Italy and Greece in which my whole world just opened up to me. I had some great times and hope to return one day. But, by the end of it I was wanting to just come home. I missed my family and my friends. What is great is I didn't miss HIM. But of course, the first call I got as I walked into the door to my house was HIM and HE wanted to see me. Was it stupid to go with him, probably...maybe just blindly hopeful. Regardless, it was an o.k. night. Not free of bad decisions and impulse but not horrible either. But, of course in true idiot fashion, HE had to prove me wrong. Today was filled with screaming, cussing, and just plain Rebecca and HIM old fashion fighting. What wasn't the same was the end of the conversation; him saying "it's alright...who's your daddy?" ... I'll let that part sink in....waiting....got it...good....WHAT THE F***! It was if he was mocking me, like the whole few hours of me being so mad at him didn't even phase him, he knew I would just forget it. How disgusting is that. How pathetic of me. How DISRESPECTFUL is HE. Not to mention the whole reason we were fighting was that he was a RUDE DISRESPECTFUL JERK. Needless to say I hung up on his ass after a few choice words.

I decided to take a long shower in which I thought about what had just gone down. I was mad at him but worse I was mad at myself. How can I expect him to respect me when I don't respect myself. It would be nice if he did, but lets face it, it's HIM. How is anyone going to respect me for that matter?

My friend had a few great words for me: When you think about talking to HIM just ask yourself are you ready to let HIM disrespect you again? If so answer the phone...

this is my life.